The Emperor’s New Clothes

The emperors New Clothesthither lived a universe he should pacify be alive now, yet virtuoso would worry to think that he had liberaly grown up a little.He ideate himself the It Boy of Western Super- Mare, he was the guy in the latest invent, up to date pilusdos and incessantly had this months Vanity Fair tucked under(a) hotshot arm.The fact that he was nearly 38 and still lived in his parents troika bedroomed semi-detached did non seem to deter him. world a man of simple pleasures, and having neer had the intuition to actually move into a place of his own and take a shit a career, his daily r prohibitedine had non changed oft over the past twenty years.No ulterior than 8.30am any morning, his doting and slightly downtr bizarreen generate would creep into his bedroom, careful non to wake the mountain of a son who lay snoring standardised a pig in his bed. She would place his photographic plate of sausage balloon sandwiches next to his bedside and conseq uently mildly leave closing the door gently behind her.At precisely 8.40am, he would take one last grotesque snore and then emerge from his occur bunk, and haul his non so neat figure down the two buns ladder that leant against the side, which s cream offed in distress e rattling step he made in his descent. With one foul swoop his massive coarse-haired hand would shovel sausage sandwiches into his gawping mouth, two at a time.He would then make his way to the bathroom, where he spent most two thirds of his life.Who would eat thought that a bathroom exactly capable of fitting in a bathtub, wash basin and good deal, could hold the many an(prenominal) different cheap brands of beauty products that he had acquired over the years?Two and half-hours later and he is all ready. The better a man looks, the better a man isHe would bellow after flushing the toilet and bursting out of the bathroom with a quiff that no Elvis imsomebodyator could compare to. He had a lengthy beauty r egime that was absolutely vital that he stuck to. How else was he going to pass off being the well-nigh vain person in the whole of Western Super-Mares history? genius gets the impression that some of the hair that one time belonged on the crown of his head had lightly crept to join the vast amount of hair that covered the rest of his body. As most position-aged men do, he himself had acquired a rather prominent bald-pated patch.This baldness did bother his small mentality. But non enough so that he did non take ultimate p resigne in each other inch of himself. by and by bathroom time, it was dressing up time. To set up that he took an touch on in fashion would be a laughable understatement. His desperately small bedroom was not somewhere one could kick certify and relax, strictly due to the lack of space.He did put one over a lot of clothes, even the odd sarong and kilt. If someone famous had at one time careworn it, or been seen in it, he would dupe it, or so he desire to make out.Expense simply does not matter when you are not remunerative for anybody besides your conceited self. Rumour some the town was that he surely must have had Superior Being tattooed behind his ear, wish the 666 in the Omen, but this guy was real. at one time kitted out in an outfit that was about as un-flattering as he could by chance piece together,Its next season darling, anybody brook see that he would sneer to anybody who dared to taunt at him. afterward blowing air kisses to his mother and father, he would head off to the seafront.When on the bus, he would lay out a designer tissue on which to fall his bottom on, and cross his legs curtly. One whitethorn imagine that seeing a middle aged bald man with the ghastliest wangle tan and atrocious dress wizard and perspiration problem, would be a bantering thing, but the locals were completely used to him, and give him no attention whatsoever.In the city he would flounce around ostensibly aimless, peeri ng in at the most pricey shops and throwing lesser beings nasty looks.Then, he would go to his popular caf, a low key seaside affair, that his Great auntie happened to own. Here, he could get free coffee and cream cakes. This was a privilege he had been abusing ungrate plenteousy for as long as his striking aunt could remember.He was definately not one to say no to something free (as his unfortunate relative had realised). This was his critical downfall.It was a mean solar daytime analogous any other in the caf, when he was approached by a junior woman complete with fake breasts, a fake smile, and an incredible amount of chromatic makeup on, a saleswoman.He glanced her up and down, his eyes did not stumble upon an overpriced lable, therefore he returned to his article without bothering to articulate a word.Sir, sorry to disturb you, as you look like a very busy manAt which point, his Aunt spluttered in the assground.She continued,My company are the innovativeest in fo llicle technology, we deal in complicated skill procedures, to bring men like yourself back smiling, with a full head of hair Which was then her queue to throw him a blinding smile with gleaming eyes. Luckily, she had his attention.Menlike myself? He growled ferociously, spraying her with saliva.The womans smile did not crack.I think it may interest you to know that we have a full waiting list of celebrities desperate to get their hands on this amazing product, I chose you, because you look like a person who knows what they want. And we are prepared to give you the full course, absolutely one hundred share free There was a pause. within his head, cogs were turning slowly. Celebrities. Desperate. FreeHe took a deep breath in, stood up proudly, his odorize in the air and slammed his great hairy fist down on the submit smashing four empty mugs and declared,Ill do itQuick as a flash, his in spite of appearance information were down on paper and he carry on with his coffee, smug, w ith the prospect of a full head of hair.A month or so later, at 8.30am a parcel arrived next to his sausage sandwiches. At first sighting, the grown man inside of him let out a blue pitched squeak of excitement.He dropped to his knees like an eager child, tearing away the promotional material in glee.Minutes later, sat amdist a sea of bubble wrap, he cradling his new elixir.Follicle SOS hair rejuvenator with added vitaminsHe gasped in wonder at this magical product and once again felt smugly alive(predicate) that he had been hand picked to use it.After studying the instructions, here began the treatment. This is not the descriptor of treatment he had in mind though. One must bear in mind, that his peers were not very fond of him. any day he applied the magical cream, and every night, he checked his bald blur for improvement. No such luck. In fact, he wasnt entirely sure, but it looked like his hair was getting sparser.After three weeks of applying the cream, he was not a happy customer. He had even stopped going out to the seafront for his regular coffee and cream cakes. For not only had his bald spot stayed bald, but to his horror it had increased in size.He rang the helpline. Sitting there in his mothers favourite chair, on hold, for most of an hour. Until the same maam who he had spoken to before answered.A whole string of violent ill-treatment later, the woman replied,The treatment has to get rid of the original hair, in order to locomote on the head as a whole, and produce shiny healthy smell locks. Because you sir, are worth it She purred.Nothing like a cheap compliment to fracture his rage.So, religiously, he carried on applying it.Until the final day came, when he awoke one morning completely, terribly bald, not to mention shiny. Alongside his sausage sandwich was a small letter.He opened it happily,Popular as ever he thought.Inside the letter, was a bankers bill write by hand. It readHave you never read the story about the Emperor and his new clothes?Oh, he and his bald head of Western Super-MareVanity is a highly un-attractive quality.Consider the lesson taughtOn the back of the note, were the signatures of every person in his neighbourhood. reach shaking, he laid down the note gently. Promptly strolled downstairs, leaving his sausage sandwiches behind, picked up the yellow pages and looked up, designer toupees.